and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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