Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
it wasn't lemon gatorade
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
