No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
