I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Drunk is a universal language darling
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