I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Randomize
