So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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