Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
