My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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