Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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