my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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