we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i wish my penis had a tongue
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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