I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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