apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize