please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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