well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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