would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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