all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
