The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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