Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
