This house was built for laser tag.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
