Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
