you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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