Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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