I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
