I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
