I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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