well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
