Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
