i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
