My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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