Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize