I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
