Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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