the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dignity is for republicans.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
