CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
