Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Let's paint friendship bongs
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
