R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
