So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize