does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
