I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
