Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
