you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize