you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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