You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
