dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
