I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Also, beer. Big fan.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
