Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
