i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
