I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
