So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
