ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
