the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
