I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize