so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
