She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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