We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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