I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
