I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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