She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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