Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
