i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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