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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there

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• (347): View more from New York

  It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis

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