I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I need to calm my uterus...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
