I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
