At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I need to calm my uterus...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
