Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
